palmyric, consciously
like sulfur, no breath, picturesque sun-polyp
on the ceiling, mirror mirror mirror
(murmur)
mornings . . .
heart, what can be said, percussive dialect
streamers behind wheels of piano keys, diaphanous whites
mine was crypt, gasses, dreamed huge
minutes aerial, guarded
as moors
lunar cycle: i have/am have/you have/this have/i have/you—
1200 algaes slicking
the coast purple
i am between colors
rays through
sea, thermoclines, concavity
on the ceiling, mirror mirror mirror
(murmur)
mornings . . .
heart, what can be said, percussive dialect
streamers behind wheels of piano keys, diaphanous whites
mine was crypt, gasses, dreamed huge
minutes aerial, guarded
as moors
lunar cycle: i have/am have/you have/this have/i have/you—
1200 algaes slicking
the coast purple
i am between colors
rays through
sea, thermoclines, concavity
posted by Scott Glassman at 10:27 AM
3 Comments:
yow-za, as my slightly wacko mom would say. This poem is jazzed. I think your attention to line is getting amazingly better (not that it was bad!!) but they seem to be working really well as individual units as well as larger parts of the poem! Excellent.
Also, did you notice that your line lenths ascend and descend in lenght until the last stanza? Perhaps an infulence of those crazy haiku you've been hammering out so wonderfully.
Rock on, Scott. This is really fun.
Thanks, I was probably half aware of a patterning of line lengths, but I don't think it was conscious. I want to play with that idea more, not constrained, you know, by the number of words per line as in the haynaku, but getting that up and down feeling, see-saw rollercoaster stomach in your throat feel. This IS fun :-)
it looks like someone slashed me across the right eye in that compressed blog-pic! Yikes.
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