what do you think of this arrangement?
streaming charcoal sugar
structures the breach
of violas into your crudite
so raw so listless sonar
deride and roll to
tamarind tiles
all shaking and slippery grist
finely played
deformity
steady schooner dust of interruption
highlight collapsed carapace
on your soft flesh
while dreamrun designates you-stone
proleptic magnetic
navel bounces
this helix frontal trouble unweld
double us hath (had) steady
strobe to move away
eight o'clock rips me timpani
flame revamped
virgin supernova bleeds darkroom exit
shielding ignoring the oven
Sufi blanket sedentary
implications menial
quantify spell if you believe
in artificial rhythms
this dryvolt balloon
hyped skin &
anti-pathic dirge
structures the breach
of violas into your crudite
so raw so listless sonar
deride and roll to
tamarind tiles
all shaking and slippery grist
finely played
deformity
steady schooner dust of interruption
highlight collapsed carapace
on your soft flesh
while dreamrun designates you-stone
proleptic magnetic
navel bounces
this helix frontal trouble unweld
double us hath (had) steady
strobe to move away
eight o'clock rips me timpani
flame revamped
virgin supernova bleeds darkroom exit
shielding ignoring the oven
Sufi blanket sedentary
implications menial
quantify spell if you believe
in artificial rhythms
this dryvolt balloon
hyped skin &
anti-pathic dirge
posted by Scott Glassman at 10:32 AM
1 Comments:
have you ever noticed that you often arrange your stanzas so that the line lenghts shorten as the stanza reads down the page? I'd noticed this earlier in one of your other pieces. Just thought it was interesting. Your line breaks create a much differeny momentum than mine, affected by these line length arrangements. I think I like yours better, esp the first several stanzas.
We probably should arrange the other fragment poem in tercets as well. . .seems like maintaining some semblance of uniformity is important for this project.
Do you suppose we may have enough for our chapbook at this point? I believe the minimum is 15 pages, which we should have by now. Or we could go another round of something. . .I'm not sure what. . .before the final deadline.
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