Carnage, Pixels
Carnage, Pixels
You blur into drear, stigmatism focus on fake drips,
on fake intermittent light smear, on callous
glamour smear, shaken hand in bountiful sinews.
You give me a filled carcass, a shaken boxcar, a forest guile,
a hidden smile, more guile for the long trip through briar bayou.
Blue briars into you, slick martini eyes. The drag,
the influence of drag, the martini gleam effluvium taking over
squirrel-tooth effluvium. Come in bold, balance, entitled
rails we ride on, entitled something it wears, killer sari button
on the move down. So sorry for your hands.
I did a sort of pantoum-sort of thing with my words, beginning with the first one and the second one in the first line, then repeating the second and third one in the next line, then the third and fourth, etc, etc. I would have liked to get stigmatism in the last line, but alas. I tried to evoke the idea of stigmata with the "hands" reference, but not sure if it comes through or not. I used Roy Lichtenstein's "Brushstroke with spatter," 1966 as a sort of inspiration (I'm having a hard time with actual poetic subjects lately. . .may have something to do with the war?). I don't think the lines are working very well- they seem too long right now, but I like how the repetetion is working, so that's a tough one. I also cheated (lied?) at the end. . .sari, sorry.
It was fun. . .
posted by Unknown at 2:20 PM
1 Comments:
Kenzie, I love this! I wouldn't change a thing. The line lengths really work well for me. I'm truly dazzled, you need to send this somewhere, ok? I've been in a bit of a poetic funk over the past few days, just not feeling at all inspired . . . what comes out is weak, limp . . . i shouldn't force it, I know, but I feel guilty not writing. I got this quote rattling around in my head, "Better that everyone think you a fool than for you to speak and prove them right"-- ugly, ugly thoughts. Ah, well. I'm whining. I'm heading over to my blog now to gut my last Forrest Gump prose poem, the one with the snake.
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