interweave 3
Glance of body in
oxides windfall
peripheral haze zenith
swabbing you blind
like living room
crosstype catacomb
feasts I am splintering
you in tow paperveined
in the most common
shrug lead me wet-
ways starting from
ash beige clover
fingertips moving
morningsilent lead
to yours alternation
a scythe cowled by
knee and navel under
coral carapace censuring
your breath somehow
we travel mirrors
swim the horizon
brittle morpheme
shifts becomes
euphoric taut
something like a window
accumulating you in breeze
but made of grass
wisteria coarse seedlings
commas give way letting
emptiness this found
light shutter close
more funnel now than eye
oxides windfall
peripheral haze zenith
swabbing you blind
like living room
crosstype catacomb
feasts I am splintering
you in tow paperveined
in the most common
shrug lead me wet-
ways starting from
ash beige clover
fingertips moving
morningsilent lead
to yours alternation
a scythe cowled by
knee and navel under
coral carapace censuring
your breath somehow
we travel mirrors
swim the horizon
brittle morpheme
shifts becomes
euphoric taut
something like a window
accumulating you in breeze
but made of grass
wisteria coarse seedlings
commas give way letting
emptiness this found
light shutter close
more funnel now than eye
posted by Scott Glassman at 10:10 AM
2 Comments:
I took the punctuation out because i love the uninterrupted flow . . . not sure about the couplet form I put it in, maybe some re-shaping is needed, playing with line length-- so it contrasts, keeps the reader's eye off-balance. Don't know, but the woven textures of our language and voices and sensitivities in this feels strong.
I'm not sure about the couplets either-- they seem almost too neat and tidy for the energy in this poem. I'm compelled to want to splay it all across the page like a splatter, but don't know if that's too obvious either. What about five line stanzas or something like that? I'll give it a try and you let me know what you think. . .
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