as we evolve, it evolves
blithely you thrust
category: container blue
lid to the serene sepulcher
door threshold hearth
twirled instant of
two breaths not mingling but
sideways shattering
i cannot launder silence
chapped gashed
leaping crypts at dusk
what is the fire place?
who leaves them for you
as if perfect and kindled?
glittering in nitrous looms
every chair every table is not
abutting clay-red burn here
you are quartz and softer
incinerated by some wall
<--maybe end here?--- or put " * * * ", or number?>
opal hook of space
fingers contort with
traffic but to get there
enzymes resound in light
printing blandness streets
leaking their pulses whir
pathways puddles
some outer beam resisting
hovering as wave and particle
what happens is
not happening fourteen fathoms down
say until
concentric seams between these
garbled currencies
sew themselves reflexive ponds
creek-worn against violet
dangling in vermilion charred
you hissing the not-blood of “I am”
category: container blue
lid to the serene sepulcher
door threshold hearth
twirled instant of
two breaths not mingling but
sideways shattering
i cannot launder silence
chapped gashed
leaping crypts at dusk
what is the fire place?
who leaves them for you
as if perfect and kindled?
glittering in nitrous looms
every chair every table is not
abutting clay-red burn here
you are quartz and softer
incinerated by some wall
<--maybe end here?--- or put " * * * ", or number?>
opal hook of space
fingers contort with
traffic but to get there
enzymes resound in light
printing blandness streets
leaking their pulses whir
pathways puddles
some outer beam resisting
hovering as wave and particle
what happens is
not happening fourteen fathoms down
say until
concentric seams between these
garbled currencies
sew themselves reflexive ponds
creek-worn against violet
dangling in vermilion charred
you hissing the not-blood of “I am”
posted by Scott Glassman at 8:54 AM
3 Comments:
the tercets seem to work well for this project, I'm not sure why. You'd think couplets, but that's probably too expected anyway.
I'm feeling like this is two distinct poems, especially now, or maybe a severaly segmented two-part poem? Probably two poems, what do you think?
I wonder if we should move into a different form now, switch it up a bit, maybe a longer line or prose style? I like the non-punctuated shorter lines a lot, but think they might be playing themselves out already. Again, what do you think? I've even contemplated the fact that we shold write a sestina- they are really hard to write, but might be easier with two people. It would be an interesting addition to the flow of the project, as well. Something to think about.
yeah this probably should be two sections of a poem. i think the second half adds a resonance to the first, and takes us in a wildly different direction. How to separate them though-- with asterisks, or numbers, or subtitles. Once we figure that out, (not much to figure out I guess) yes by all means we should try longer lines, as part of the project "interweave 3" could be long flowing lines. i've never had much luck with sestinas, and don't feel especially comfortable in that form . . . we could work with repitition in some other formal way, one we could make up, if you want. Let me know how you feel about splitting this one into two sections and titling each? or numbering them?
I think we should give them their own titles but under the overarching "helix 3" or what ever number we are on (I'm confused- should we include the interweave I stole from your 30 days site and added to or not? That would make this three. If not, it's two, no?) That's my thought- maybe "face off" and "deeper wound" or something like that (I'm not married to these by any means, just throwing them out!!!).
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