A revision

Per a great comment by Lorna on my other blog, a revision:

spear atmosphere

I dare to say (as the approaching comet
dares) that you have given
sound a spine brought

me given me
into stitches of hair
dust wool clay is red

your tongue is red
clay in a river bed awake
and speak clouding

over the black thread
lifts my eyelids
pupils and saturn

unlike any moon we carve
ecstasy out of lime
seeds small yellow

breath-puff a crystal
city on your breastplate
begin again

as the rain comes this perfection
and synapse a spitting
wind in a slew

of lightning bolts mistaken
for flashbulbs pop smoke
blue spots with trails
among planets